Create the assembly, family tabled component, and layout. Family tables don't require references defined in the layout. All you need in the layout is a parameter that specifies the family table instance name without the extension.
In the assembly, declare the layout. Then edit the program for the assembly. Locate the family tabled part you want to interchange, and replace the name of the part with the name of the layout parameter.
ADD PART (INSTANCE_NAME)
INTERNAL COMPONENT ID 39
You do not have to create the parameter in the assembly. Simply declaring it is good enough. Now change the instance name in the layout and the assembly will update.